Too much time on my hands

I was hanging out on the man sofa watching boxing tonight low key nothing much to it and chattin it with a buddy I was use to work with. Can you say bill collector ya'll... worst job of my life, well 9 months of my life. Yeah, I was amazed I lasted that long too showing up to work drunk as much as I did.  Not that I was drunk from the night before, no I am too responsible for that shit, I'm the guy on time with a smile and a few jokes. Lets just say that wasnt water I was drinking all day.  It  did make the job allot easier though.  Anyway him and his girl recently broke up.  Deep down I was thinking sweet! I got my drinking buddy back. But, I was sad on the outside, breakups can be a bad thing or a good thing. Depending on how we look it. But in the beginning its always tough for both people involved. So naturally I asked why? He told me she was too selfish.  Being the sensitve guy that I am, I wrote back, "just because she doesnt like giving blow jobs doesn't make her a selfish person maybe she only spends time on cocks bigger than 3 inches." No I didnt put it that way, I actually wrote it like this. Selfish huh? You know in man language that means she wasnt giving you blowjobs right?  So was that the case? Got an "LOL!!!!!" but what I was really looking for was an "LMAO!!!" Yea he was hurting or probably didnt think it was that funny. Anyway, it got me to thinking. Man language? What the hell does that mean? For a second nothing came to mind, I said for a second.

We dont speak in a different language shit just registers in our minds a little different.  When my roomate asks "what do you fell like eating for dinner tonight? Pussy is gonna be my answer almost everytime. "Im going to the store to pick up some mike" my reply" ok I'll have a D cup".  Someone asks, I am going to the store you want me to pick you up anything? My answer "as a matter of fact, bring me back some hot pussy! oh, your not going to HEB? cornerstore? ah okay, huh, any pussy will do? Grocery store talk. Lets take automobiles for example.


A buddy will ask me about a chick at the bar, then go on to explain certain sex positions and my reply. "oh yeah, I bet she rides like a cadillac" Of course I get this look like what the fuck you talking about. And with an arrogant grin and a wink say, "you must have never driven one." Then there is the  girl you want to be on when your going off road.  Rides like an F150 and built ford tough. Meaning big enough to take a beating but not so big to where you can't manuever it in tight corners. You have your luxury sedans mercedez, bmw's etc etc..  Sleek, sexy, and too much fucking money to afford. But you can always rent or lease one!   American made sports cars, cheap and fast for the base model, higher end model still cheap and fast just a sucker for spending the money on it. Then there is the girl thats like a busted up 1979 monte carlo CL, damn good car, but no one took care of her just  needs some fixing up. You got your SUV women, like to take on allot of pasengers. Your mopeds, thats an old joke but too good to pass up. The girl you have fun riding but wouldn't want your friends to see you on one. Your motorcyle chicks, likes big vibrating things between the legs well most women do  but in this case most likely a lesbian a butch lesbian, girls on scooter lipstick lesbians! I can really do this all day but I'll stop for now.

Anyway, past my bed time, I couldn't sleep, I think my body is thinking "its friday night not one drop of booze no porn on the tub, let me keep him up he is fucking up the rotation."  Hope everyone decided to drink allot of booze and made some bad decisons.  Many of time I have done that and woke up wondering what the hell was I thinking?