Wednesday, February 3, 2010

"Cant teach an old dog new tricks"

I started out the evening at MedClinic, my roomate was really sick and so I took him. I wanted to say "suck it up bitch, I have been plenty sick and I drive my ass to and from and guess what I have no insurance so I also have to wait in pain at cvs cause they dont fax the fuckin perscribtion!!" Then again I rather have no insurance than have insurance under Obama's plan. Doh!  But, I couldnt, and I would have never said no.  He was at the hospital for me several times...he just didnt buy me fucking flowers! So in turns out he is fine, just has the flu, that means I will have it in about 2 days. So idecided to go out tonight while I was feeling good. I may be sick during the most important days of the week.(weekend) but I figure I would make it up tonight.  And I did.

Friends that read this, know I am the guy that really can care less, I can make best friends with just about anybody, mother, grandmother, father, primo, daughter you get it. Im charming, funny, and likeable based off those that love me...of course. Well just dont ask the ex's or women I scare away ,naturally.  Its like a resume, you dont put referrences on paper that might say some bad shit.

So I'm hanging at this bar, and this woman starts hitting on me. She was old. I can see it, everyone can see, but, you know me maybe she is just being friendly, needs someone to talk with it. I can do that, shit if things go right as old as she is she might have a daughter, niece, or grandchild, she could hook me up with. Yes alsways the business man, "maybe you cant do shit for me, but, you might know someone who can". Well, thats a polaticans stance, but I had to let that go based off the pictures that are circulating.

As it turns out she was 56, but got damn... judging from her plastic surgey she was a rich 56 year old with a 55 year old body.    Some might say damn thats old, shit, in my famliy thats the same age as my oldest brother. So she comes on strong," hey big boy can I buy you a drink" as she clutches my right arm. "hell yes you can, but, I only drink the finest" i say with a smile and a flex of that right arm muslce." when she tells me "you dont look like a scotch man" I tell her "your right, we both can see the bottle of miller light infront of me, then again you dont look like a pedophile" She busted out laughing. Nice to meet a women with a since of humor. "Johhny walker blue" she yells to the bartender. At that pont I knew he was pouring a one once shot that was 15 bucks.  I didnt know if I was excited about the fine liquid that was about to touch my lips or the shame I was about to put myself through for that price. Hell I want chicks to flat out show me there ass if i buy them one domestic beer, imagain what I would have to do for this shit, thats like  6 beers from that point of view.

We talk about the usual shit, the place, the weather, the music, favorite food, and then the question, how old are you.  I say 30, she says, I was hoping you were 25. I'm like why, and on all that is holly, she says, 25 they fuck with hard dicks, at 30 they fuck to bust a nut before they go soft. I laughed but not to be out witted, I quickly  say how old are you she says 55, I told her, I wish you were younger than thirty she says why, young enough not to care how I was fucking just glad I dont have kids. , any older, i have to worry about denture glue on my sheets you've seen the commercial, guy with hard had hanging 100 feet in ther air...cmon.

At this point she tells me, I think I like you, You aint scared of shit, since im on a roll, I say maybe you didnt hear me...denture glue. Turns out she was a dallas cowboy cheerleader, kids my age that are gradutating from medical and law school. She almost had me, then again I almost had her, normaly I go with the flow but tonight I just had to talk myself out it. I was too scared, I knew that woman would have done some things to me, that would have spolied my ass. It might have been the greatest night of my life, but you cant teach an old dogs new tricks, but you can always teach a young dog, and tonight I was to young and scared to be taught anything that I could never teach. What the hell was I thinking!


  1. How many people experience shit like this and don't have the courage to tell the story? Wow, mad respect. Been there, done that, but with an alternative conclusion....She was 20 years older and still hot! Like that Damon Wayans joke, I was a bitch in her arm. What ever she said and how she told me to do it, I did! I epitomize the stereo typical type "A" personality, but let her strong motherly virtues control the evening, as I was there to learn. Padiwan learner was I. This was 15 years ago and I'll never forget how that "ole" lady rocked my world and taught me some new new moves that I continue to pleasure all my ladies with. Next time, go for it!!!!!!The travesty is looking back 20 years later and regretting the decision not to explore and embrace the experienced women you had before you!! ?How much better could you have been? How much more could all of your past loves been pleasured? After all, it should be every man's goal to give his women the very best he is capable of every time till he can give no more or passes out from pure exhaustion. If she is worth you inviting in your bed, she should be worth giving everything you got!
    "D" Rock

  2. "D" rock, thanks for the comments,after reading what you wrote, I am reminded by an old roomate of mine that always said "a piece of pussy passed up is a piece of pussy never made up!" I can never make that one up, as a matter of fact it will never happen to me again. It was a once in a life time opportunity, and I doubt I will ever get that chance again. As a matter of fact, after reading your words, I feel that I not only let you down but myself as well. If I ever get SCOUTED but the majors or the senior tour again, I assure you I will go as a number one draft pick. Just call me Darth Vader, ready to screw my elders!!!