Same thing I said when I was told I have one. It all happened on Thursday afternoon, I just got back into the truck after trekking the famous 2.2 mile trail that opened up a couple of months ago. Sweat was pouring off me and I can smell the salt escaping my dehydrated body, mixed with the fish oil pills I have consumed over the past month seeping out every pore of my skin made the smell unpleasant. The deodorant I wore that morning had begun to wear off and a hint of onion filled the cabin of the truck. As the aroma of a Punjab and Japanese slowly set in, I rolled down the windows and turned off the ac, it was so hot outside, that the beige cloth seat was sticking to the back of my legs and I could feel my socks fill up with the sweat dripping off my balls and taint!
I need a shower; a long hot shower! I peeled off the grey Nike shirt and drenched running shorts, and set the water on high heat. This is gonna be great, I thought as I pryed my nuts loose from my sweat soaked stripped jokey briefs! I extended my right arm to feel the temperature of the water and grinned with a sigh of relief as the water fell through the finger tips of my right hand. I slowly lifted my right foot over the tub, shifted my weight onto the right leg followed by my left leg looking like a flamingo in pre flight and BAM!! My foot slip out from under me and I landed right on my ass!
My left leg didn't make it over the tub wall and it was hanging over the edge in a 90 degree left angle. My right leg was fully extended and my foot was wedged under the faucet. A sharp pain raced up my spine, leaving me light headed and confused, at this point luke warm water was hitting me at the bottom of my neck. They only thing that I can think about was, you have to be fucking kidding me. I was worried that I had broken my back. I could feel my legs and I was able to take my left leg and place it into the tube, but, that action sent another sharp pain running up my spine to the back of my head causing my dizziness. I sat there and collected my breath as the pain was causing me to hyperventilate.
Now I had been knocked out before, I have had broken bones, torn ligaments, dislocated jaw and shoulder and in each occasion I knew exactly what hurt, this time I was confused on where the pain was coming from,my hole body had felt the jolt. So, I managed to push my self forward and turned off the water, and laid there for a good 30 min, for things to settle in and figure out where exactly the pain was. I was now prepared to exit the tub. My first attempt I pussied out with the first hint of pain. The way I moved wasn't exactly the way to get out. I tried as anybody else would get out of the tub. I placed my hands on the edges of the tub brought my feet towards my ass and try to lift myself. After what felt like 5 minutes the pain form the initial attempt subsided. I rolled to my left onto my stomach, threw my right leg over the tube, at this point I looked like an out of shape fat gymnast that racked himself on the balance beam. I slowly transferred the weight of my body towards the the bath room floor and just let my body fall. At this point the pain was..well to bad to put in words. But the determination and the will to beat the odds was overwhelming.
I brought myself to the edge of the toilet and let my upper body pull the weight of my legs under me and stood up. It was a little shaky at first, like a baby taking there first steps, but, I made it. I clothed myself with a towel and proceeded to grab a beer from the fridge went out side and smoked a cig.
I was pretty sore the rest of the day and found it hard to sit in a correct posture, so I sat on the right ass cheek the rest of the day, during the night it was amazingly peaceful as I am use to sleeping on my stomach anyway.
Don't worry people I am okay, no insurance so, I have taken upon myself to self medicate. I was at a bar on Friday doing exactly that, the ride to the bar was painful as hell but as long as I was standing I was okay. I am able o sit a little bit today which is why I posted this today and not Thursday.
Need to install a mat on the floor of the tub this week,not having one in the first place, apparently I wasn't thinking at all.