Monday, August 3, 2009

Houston Baby Houston!

Houston is where the heart is but SA is where I belong! I had a good weekend drank a little too much talked a little to much shit.

Friday did a good deed and was repaid by a couple of phone calls from two particular women I thought i had lost. Saturday i went to only the best Baby shower ever!!!!!! Ice cold beer and plenty of good friends to drink it with. All these years I'm thinking a baby shower is a bunch of women playing games with the pregnant woman. One in particular comes to mind. Its where the woman takes a banana holds in between her legs while walking to a jar about 5 feet away and attempts to drop it in the jar by positioning herself over the empty jar and opening her legs.

As I glanced around the party in a drunken gaze, I saw married couples and couples and i starting to wonder where all the good pussy has gone. Apparently I haven't had any since I am still single or not married. I believe that it has become my personal duty to sniff one out, slay it and mount it on my mantle so that one day I can tell my grand kids, that particular piece was the last of the greats and your grand papi had it. Of course when they ask what ever happened to her I probably will say something like kids let me tell you a little story.

I met her in ought 9, it was a grand year that year. The first time a black man became president. I turned 30, your grandmother had just gotten off work from the jaded palace in san antone. What's that you ask little Peter. Its were men go and give these green pieces of paper with numbers on them, the higher the number the more she falls in love with you! Just about that time a harmonious song comes on to the loud speakers and she rubbs her body on you like a mechanical bull. They dont have them anymore, President Hillary Clinton outlawed those places 8 years after the herpes virus became airborn!

Anyway Peter North Jeremy Davila III, I was on my way to this place that gives you a massage, its a place where you go in and a woman comes out and touches you in places that make you really happy to be alive. The price is pretty expensive but its the same as taking a date on the night of the town and dropp her off and go home and take a long shower. Except when you come home from this place you take a hot shower for different reasons.

Any way I walk in and took off my clothes with a wad of green papper tucked in my sock. and wait for this lady to come in. To my surprise it was not a place that I thought it was. She became outraged when I asked her to touch grandpappi's smoking pipe! I apologized explained that this was just a big misunderstanding. It was a prank I was doing for school. I wound up giving her my business card, we talked over lunch, and thats her piece sitting on that mantle. What happened you asked.

I thought it was the best piece ever so I married it, then years later it changed on me. Became very cold to the touch, its stopped purring with extasy, and took all my money and left me broke. But I still have the trophy! To prove that ther might be another one out there. What little Ron Jeremy Davila II, no, grandma wasnt it. But it is her sister! ooouuuchhhhhh

Just off the wall stuff i was really thinking!!!

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