Friday, February 26, 2010

Just one of those days

I spent abut 20 minutes at CVS today day, trying to talk myself in and out of buying beard and hair dye. I woke up this morning and looked at myself to long in the mirror and notcied not a few grey hairs on my head, but it was like they trippled in numbers in the past few months, my beard, for get about it, it is totally white in some spots.  So, as I stood in that isle going over the different brands and prices, an old woman passed by and said "son, no since in coloring it, if its gonna fall out anyway." She had a solid point, but, now I was worried about my receading hair line! Was it that bad? It must have been for a blind old hag like herself to notice! So I placed the boxes back down and moved over to the rogain section of the isle, and stared at the different brands and prices.  I wouldnt be damned of that old lady swung back around and said "son, I think your better off spending your money on some razors."  There I was in the middle of the fucking isle about to body slam this 75 year old lady, when I calmed down and came to my senses, "respect your elder" popped in my head and said "yea your right mam, but I am growing out my beard on purpose,  if you would like, I can let you have the money to purchase  high fiber pills, or depends." Fucking lady bust out with, " you see son you can't change ugly".  How low did I feel at that point.  Hair is turning white, hair is falling out and I have a 75 year old lady bustin my fucking balls in the middle of CVS. Damn white old ladies are the worst.

As I walked out the store with my head in shame and embarrasment, I tripped and fell.  I was able to catch my self in a way as to not face plant on the damn sidewalk. And the fucking old lady crepped on by and asked if I needed to borrow her walker. I grinned, collected my self and just kept walking.  I got home and was just in total shock, I sat on the chair and after awhile I was like the fuck just happened. Why me? I am the last guy that needs to be fucked with by old white people.  I give them the right of way on the damn road, I dont honk or yell with impaitence when I see there blue head of hair just above the steering wheel, and a big ass blue handicap parking tag hanging from the rear view as they do 20 miles under the speed limit, residential or highway. When I am in the car with others and see them growing impaitent I simply say relax we will be there to one day.  I have stopped on the sides of highways to help them out, and smile with gratitiude when they hand me a quarter for a tip for changing there tire or giveing them a battery charge when they left there damn headlights on in the parking lot.  I think today is the day that I stop being nice to old ladies.  I will lay on my horn and tailgate hoping to incite a major heart attack. I will never again let them jump in front of me on a busy intersection. And if they are on the side of the road let AAA help em out. lmao

I will most likely contiue to be nice to old ladies, since my mother is that age and would like people to be nice to her, she's not anything like the "hell lady" at CVS, so I would imagine she wouldn't get treated with disrespect. But whereever you are Mrs. Queen Bitch of the geriatrics, I'll be watching out for you.  Until we meet again in that CVS you better watch your hunched back! For all I know she's probably a trained cage fighter and was looking for a fight today. She might have seen that snickers comercial with the lady from the golden girls and got pumped up.  But in the end, I learned something from her, no hair dye, no shampoo that gaurantees hair restoration will ever prevent you from growing old. Its life. But, me thinking that old ladies should be sweet and humble.shhiittt, not that one. What the hell was I thinking!?

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