2009 has been a good year, wouldn't say that it was the greatest, but, a damn good year! Just like any other year the year was filled with disappointments, struggles, and heart ache. Shit the way I look at it at least I only had one trip to the ER this year. Come to think of it, 07,08, and 09 I had trips to the hospital! Can't wait to see what kind of trouble I get into this new year! This year is gonna be different, I can see it already, New business opening up, say goodbye to school. Pussy level will probably stay the same, but, hell what's new. Friends are married, some are getting married while others are just stuck on stupid pussy. Ah "i remember when I had my first beer" Lets break down ought nine! Love, anger and drunkenness in the time of H1N1.
I fell in love about 340 times this year plus an almost 15, meaning it could have been 355 days total!I'd say I averaged about 20 a weekend. Don't get it conflicted i didn't say I slept with 340 women and averaged 20. I don't know their names, they don't know mine,we never talked, but, got damn they looked good from across the bar as I slowly drank ice cold beer, some on a pole, showing me everything but there anal cavity and the others bringing beer then my check. Maybe a few around the jogging trail, a couple of distant stares at the stoplight and some waiting at the red box in an uncomfortable silence as we stood side by side waiting for the prick in front of us to choose to pick a fucking movie, but, whose counting. This year will be different, I may just decide to tell them how great it would be to cuddle, share awkward moments, and eat fruit while naked in the hall way floor! The other 15 days lets just say, there are some crazy ass women out there! Those 15 days made me think asking for a table for one is not the most embarrassing or lonely thing to do in a crowded restaurant.
This year was filled with "when am you getting married", "when am I going to settle down" and the one I like the most the two part question "your not married? Do you have a girlfriend? . To my critics out there, shut the fuck up! Please. And the ones worried that I might take fruit with my tossed salad, I got something for you too! ahh, which leads me to the next subject; anger. That was a constant thing this year. Lets put that number at 364 days this year! Angry that Obama was elected president, Palin didn't have a sex tape. Angry that McCain probably couldn't jack himself off with his fucked up arms, which left his mind cloudy. That the town I chose to live in is... well, great fucking people...don't want to offend any of my future customers, but you know who you are and just so happens that they drive on the highways too. Sopranos left me thinking "this fucking show sucked". The amount of young kids meeting there maker by the hands of their fucked up parents. In turn the parents that aren't fucked up have fucked up kids doing fucked up things. The war in the beach. Why cant we just conquer and kill all that oppose us in the middle east, one might say, "don't you think we are doing that?. Good point, but, one word comes to mind and can you say INDIANS. It work well when we did it to the native American Indians! And the ones that are left after we play cowboys and Indians, give em some land so that they can become drunkards and addicts, the smart ones, we will let them build casinos and those tribes we feel absolutely horrible about we did to eradicate them off the face of the earth, give the living a couple of bucks and make films about the injustice we brought down upon them for the sake of democracy, and give them a few pages in our history books, which we will print with words that are misspelled to explain everything except the truth to our fucked up kids.
I'm angry that beer commercials aren't what they use to be. I'm angry that the one beer commercial I absolutely loved, was not Mexican! You know what I'm talking about the fucking most interesting man on the world for dos equis! That's right that guy is from England or somewhere where the speak English with an "English" accent, point is, he isn't Mexican. I'm angry that roses don't last all year long in a vase filled with water and aspirin, Martha Stewart is full of shit! I'm angry that I can't shave my face without thinking about how much fucking money I spent on 4 cartridges, then complain, and for that one dumb ass to tell me "why don't you buy an electric razor?" good point asshole. Let me guess you have one right? I can go on to explain that I like a close shave and I can't get one with an electric razor, then, he will go on to explain that the Remington kklfdakjgs 500 wet series or what ever the fuck he has is bad ass and if his response is yes to my original question, then, you must not shave your goddamn balls!! I don't like telling strange men that or that I like mine smooth to the touch and so do women. None of his fucking business, but, I will share it with people on the blog right? you get the point, anyway, what really makes me angry is the fucking clothes designers. They put XXL on t-shirts that are made like a goddamn large. I bought t-shirts from old navy 6 months ago, I go back and the fuckin shirts are twice as small. I get on the scale yup it tells me the same thing it did 6 months ago and I weigh 10 pounds less! Look, I know Americans are getting bigger, I see how get fit America is advocating good health and wight loss. But give me a fucking break. Changing the cloths size is not gonna make me feel bad about myself, it is going to make me fell angry towards fashion designers.
As you can tell 2009 had allot of anger which is the reason why 2009 had allot of booze involved. Cant wait till 2010! In 2010 I'm sure it will be the same as all the other years, but with the knowledge and wisdom learned form the past years will make it easier to deal with each struggle a new year brings! Did I just right that, shit, what the hell was I thinking!