I was chatting it up with a very good friend of mine. She bought her special beau a little present and asked if it was appropriate. The price tag was not very large although the time and effort that was put into finding this little keepsake was a considerable amount.
So I had to give a bit of advice that was sweet and nice, characters that are hidden deep within, surrounded by walls of mistrust and bitterness of past relationships. A gift which the dictionary defines the word; as something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation. Nice and easy not much to it. Yet we have found a way to complicate the hell out it.
When we were kids and I know that everyone has had that "little Johnny or Susie crush". They were the ones we had innocent crushes on, sometimes we made them love you cards, bought them teddy bears, or anything that we could get a hold of that would signify the feelings we had towards them. In that quest to find them that perfect little gift. There was never a thought of negativity in terms of what was appropriate, did we know them long enough, what will he or she think, would they think its too much or not enough, will they think we spent all this time looking for it and have them think it's psycho because of the amount of time we put into something simple or too extravagant. It was here johnny or here Susie back then! We would blush and the gift exchanged from our hands to theirs making them happy or not, but we didn't really stress over it much one way or the other, it was innocent and from the heart.
When did it change? Of course as adults we have all the answers. But when did we arrive at those answers and consider them just? Where they told to us from our friends that a gift should be bought in terms of the time and length of knowing someone? Did we read in a magazine that lists the amount of months each of has been together then quickly suggest and explain the gifts we should buy?! Or over the course or the years the price of the gift should increase? When we take away all the what if's the answer is still so simple.
If you feel the desire to buy that special someone a present, do it. Hell, buy the first thing you think of. If a car is what you want to buy, a boat, a hood ornament, sex toy, key chain with their name, salt shakers. Just buy it because you want to share with them and want to express that little gesture of I thought about you, I love you, and I want nothing in return. Maybe we complicate it because of what we expect in return. A hug, a shy grin, words of acceptance, give a gift tomorrow and dont explain the reason it was givien. See what happens!
As kids it was innocent and I think that the gifts and the love behind them should still be as adults. we have just found a way to complicate it....I believe that now but when I hear or read advice or thoughts about gift giving it always make me think shit... What have I been thinking?!