I was at home tonight chillin with my parents and a best friend of mine brought up an old story. It was December 15 2002. A date that I could never forget. I had been dating this chick for about seven months, things between us was serious, but, I was too wild and afraid of commitment at the time. I hadn't brought her around any of my friends much, so, they didn't know too much about her. Besides none of my running buddies had serious girlfriends so why would I fuck up a good thing! Anyway, that weekend was her birthday and it just so happened that one of my oldest and closest friend shared the same birthday; December 15. It was trouble from the start. They both planned big birthday celebrations on the same day. I told the girl I was dating I would show up and would give her a call when I left my sisters house and let her know I was on my way to meet her and her friends. What she didn't know was that I was going to my friends birthday party first. I never showed up to her party and I didn't call her for days after that night. And here is the reason why, the night took me and three of my buddies on the longest night ever.
We started the night off at our friends birthday party. We drank, howled at the moon, and had a blast. Jello shots were passed around. Dancing and more dancing. Before I knew I had forgotten all about the girl I was seeing. Then we got the call... hot chicks and another party was going down in the Northside. Hell, why not!? Four young dirty southside studs looking to invade the northside! My buddy Peanut packed four guys in a 2 door green Honda civic Standard. Peanut was a guy I met freshman year in high school and been friends since. In that small ass car were 2 other big guys like myself. A big country redneck boy from Pearland,Tx named Bama. He lived in Alabama and told us a story of hunting for deer with buck shots and hound dogs, so we busted his chops for that then and till this day. Another white boy that claimed he was Mexican went with us, it took me a couple of years to come around to believe him. Didn't know him too much he was Peanut and Bama's boy
We hauled ass to the north side of town and this party was just going down. The DJ was busting old school jams, the whole back room of this house was gutted out, party lights, streamers, light show, smoke machine. It was a fucking Nightclub in the middle of the North Side Barrio. In the back yard the owner of the house had a craps table. From growing up in the southside and talking so much shit about northsiders these mother fuckers knew how to party! At the time we all got our kicks off when chicks were wearing thongs, yup, that's how long ago and young we were. We stood there staring with drunken eyes and and 22 year old boners. Then forget about it when these dirty girls started dancing on each other. We couldn't control ourselves. I drank so much that I blew chunks next to the craps table, my vision blurred, speech off center and legs were going out on me. About the same time my running buddies were just about to hit the same mode. And then all hell broke loose. Screaming, cussing, and swearing snapped my ass back into shape and I ran into the house.
Some guys at the party started fighting and this big ass brawl took place. Apparently there was a naked chick, someone with a gun, and someone else coming back with a gun that had just gotten out of prison. That was just way to much hard core shit for 4 pussies, so we checked the hell out of that place quick. Being with two white guys didn't help our situation either. We jammed back into the car and I passed the fuck out dreaming of daisies and thongs. When I came too, the car was swerving across five lanes and then back two, I shut my eyes and then I heard a click! Bama somehow managed to squeeze himself into the seat belt of that small ass car. I was afraid to even look at the way Peanut was driving and figured If we crash and die at least I wont see it. Our destination... back to our friends house in the southside...the safe side!
When we got there we pretty much sobered up, so it was back to drinking and bullshittin. Well, I thought I had sobered up until I fell off the back of a parked car. I was sitting on the trunk with a beer in the hand and saying dirty jokes. Bama apparently was in agreement with some off the wall nigger joke I said and leaned toward me to give me a high five. In my drunken state I swung my arm to meet his with a macho slap and missed his fucking hand. I do a 180 mid air twist and landed on my right shoulder, pain jolted up my arm as laughter and words of dumb ass filled the air, there I was laying in damp grass and beer spilled all over my chest. As I was helped up, the sight of a toddler bike caught my attention and the need to go for a bike ride was so overwhelming. I take it for a spin break the pedal and eat my shit again. That poor little girl was so upset that 9 years later she still remembers me as that big ass guy that broke her bike.
Everything started to wind down, well, not really but all the booze was gone. We drive back to peanuts house and I get in my truck to take off. By this time it was about 7 in the morning and I was spent. He offered to let me stay at his place but I was fine, the last drink I had was on me from when I fell off the damn car. I drove safe all the way home. I got about a block away from my house and decided to give the truck a little gas since I was in the clear. Next thing I know cop lights are flashing behind me. I pull over half a block away from my house. I was so close. I roll down the window and get the standard questions. When he asked if i had been drinking I said yea I was, last night. Technically I was correct, by this time it was 730 in the morning and I had my last drink just before midnight. But the thick smell of what the officer described as a mix booze, throwup, and piss filled the cab of the truck was enough to take me down. I was released on Tuesday afternoon. I told the story to my buddies exactly like it happened.
But what I told the girl I was seeing was a different story. She was so mad she never wanted to talk to me again so I did what any man would do when he likes a girl I lied!!!I told her I was picked up for DUI and was in jail about 7 pm the day of her party. Thats why I never called, answered any of her calls and would justly explain my no show. After showing proof that I was in fact locked up she forgave me and I was out of the dog house. But it didn't end there I milked that story for all that it was worth, told her i would never do something to ever hurt hur blah blah blah. I was safe, I had pulled off the biggest lie of my life. We were happy, I finally settled down and committed my self to her. She was part of the group everything was great.
We had just celebrated our 2 year anniversary and decided to meet all the guys up at cellar bar one night. We were sharing stories as usual. My girl was seated to my right Bama was in front of me, peanut, and the other white guy that was with us that night were off to my left. The conversation started about my DUI that one long night years ago. I was telling the story the way I had told my girl the story. I had to keep up the lie up. And every time I told the fake story Bama would interrupt and so "no stupid we had just come back from the north side party" I immediately kicked his damn legs and with facial expression was trying to tell the guy to shut the hell up. But Bama wasn't on the same page as me or anybody else that was there on that long night. I finish up the story, to my surprise my girl doesn't say shit, the night goes on we climb into out truck and then i hear "what the fuck is going on". Apparently when I was kicking Bama under the table to shut up he was kicking back but he wasn't kicking me he was kicking my girl at the time!
The guys and myself gave him so much shit for bustin the man code, the girl managed to overlook that night and stayed with me for a couple more years before she moved on. And today we sit and still talk about all that.
BAMA you know who you are buddy, this blog was just for you!