Wednesday, January 19, 2011

If I had a dog

Honestly people I would have been updating more but my laptop caught a virus from all the porn my dog downloaded. Fuckin Carlos, yea that is his name. His full name is Carlos Paulino Sanchez Dezavala. I didnt know that you could give dogs names like that and they actually give them a birth certificate with the name you give him. So I'm like fuck it. His is a pure bred lab, which makes him a "white" dog, since we as a society thinks mexican dogs are those little anoying things that come from a certain province of mexico. But his real breed is a choclate lab or cheasapeak bay retriever. Anyway, I'm teaching carlos how to speak spanish, so all my comands I've been teaching him are done in spanish. So now the fucker thinks he is mexican, and I found this out by all the porn he down loaded on my laptop. Rucas Dog park #85. I've learned that after he has had a few bowls of budlight, he picks fights at the dog park,he's become a big fan of soccer, tripa tacos, Vicente Fernandez and instead of barking he yells gritos. So I stareted to get worried that I turned him into more of a mexican than me, so now I try to break his habits, but he is rebelling. Instead of tacos his diet consists of turkey club sandwiches and veggies,he didnt mind the turkey club, but, the veggies he took a dump on literally. I switched him to guiness and he doesn't mind, but ,he is starting to hangout with irsih setters, and the irish are just as much of drunks than mexicans. So, I switched him to a jamacian lager and I wouldn' be damned if I  caught him smoking a fatty on the back patio. I switched him to oduls and the son of bitch tried to shank me when I got home he almost shanked me. He managed to take a spork from taco bell and file it down into a prison knife. We fist fought for a little bit and then he took off. He's back now and had to take him to the vet cause he caught a VD from some hoes from the west side.  I've bailed him out of the pound a few times already I told him I couldnt be doing this anymore but he just cut a fart and shot me the bird. I'm sending him to a dog barking speacialist to try to get rid of his accent, it only comes out when he's wasted and barking but, I got a feeling the white nieghbors will call the cops soon.

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